==> translated by surplusletterbox ==> 28th May 2006, London <== Applicable for 402 MB rmvb video version named "McDull.The.Alumni.2006.DVDSCR.XviD.AC3-DsDiy"
George Washington
Young Washington walked past the kitchen one day
He played with knives and chopped up a Soya Chicken
But young Washington was brave to accept responsibility
He confessed to his mother...
I was the one who chopped the chicken!
Washington's mother was not angry
She merely sighed and said...
"Son, what you've chopped up... is a wind dried duck"
When Washington grew up, he cut a sweet potato,
afterwards he discovered it was a big potato
"Chance meeting of a pillar with a future leader"
I will not...
Don't be like him
Not in a million years!
I will not be like him, not in a million years!
Hmm... very good
Mr. Principal, what should we do then?
Follow me, my dear - SPRlNG!
SPRlNG!
SPRlNG! SPRlNG!
Springfield Blossom!
Springfield Blossom Alumni!
Officially opens
"Silver City Machine Ltd, Morgan Chan Film Studio Ltd" My career wish is to be an engineer
"Producer: Sung Doi, Anthony Morgan" Everyday, I will do a lot of building
After work I go to supermarket
Bought a bottle of Coca Cola
A bag of five spiced eggs and a bag of peel
"Chan Wai Lam" Because, it Is on sale
"Wong Chow San" My career wish is to be a fireman
"Cheng Jong Kei" Everyday, I put out a lot of fire
"Chan Ba Lam, Ho Siew Han" After work, my captain and I
""Cameo, Cheung Len Ping" ..xiaomin, xiacho, sister fuyung, we're together
..to eat a set dinner
"Project Mgr: Lam Ben Kun" there are prawns and fish
"Art Dir: Law Kar Bic, Art & Costume: Cheung Sai Kit" can choose winter melow stew, instead of free soup
"Editor: Lee Chun Tuen, sound: Chan Ken cheun" But that'll cost 30 dollars more
"Camera: Lam Chi Kin, music:Ho Sung Chi" My goal is to become a headmaster
"Script: Tse Lup Man" Every day, after collecting the student fees
"Production: Yan Ying, Chan Ho Sun, Tse Lup Man, Hui Yu Chun...." go to eat hot pot, today I eat spicy hot pot
…tomorrow we eat pickled vegetable and fish hot pot
day after we eat pork bone hot pot
Teacher Chan said to me
"Film Dirctor: Yun Leung Jeune.." Mc Dull, you have finally found life's true meaning
What are you looking at?
The people inside listen carefully!
I'm lnspector K.C. Wong, Central District Chief Commander of the HKPD
You're completely surrounded by the police!
There is no escape and you must release all the hostages within the next 5 minutes...
Otherwise, we'll...
Hello... Pardon?
Can't be….
You're not serious...
How about... pizza?
How can anyone not love pizza?
Cheese stinks? It depends on which cheese...
Kidnappers said, they and the hostages are hungry
They want to order a takeaway from Cha's
Which Cha's Takeaway? Let me speak to them!
Hello? Umm…..
Okay, okay... stay calm, okay?
Contact Cha's Takeaway straight away!
Cha's Takeaway!
Fish flavoured shredded pork rice
Fish flavoured shredded pork rice !
Lion head rice add pickled vegetables
(Lion head) meat ball rice add pickled vegetables !
Pork fillet fried with salt and rice, add some oil
Spicy beef tofu rice
Spicy minced pork tofu rice !
Add another fish flavoured shredded pork rice
Fresh pineapple sweet and sour pork rice
Lamb fried with spring onion rice
What ….is today's free soup ?
What is today's free soup ?
Water cress, north-south almond, duck kidney, pork leg!
OK, I want free soup
OK, free soup
Treasure….Treas.. Treas. Treas.. Treasure rice
What "Treasure Treasure Treasure"? How many "Treasure" in total?
Four… four
Four Teasure Rice then?
Yes... plus a salty egg
Salty egg is already in "Four Treasure Rice"
Otherwise it wouldn't be called "Four Treasure" ?
Not true... Sometimes they substitute the salty egg with a pig's tongue or red intestine
And... I want some extra side stuff...
What side orders?
I go to get it myself
You come down and get it yourself
Don't move!
Order food!
Order something now or I'll blow your head off!
Then I'd rather die!
You're dieting, aren't you?
I loathe people who try to lose weight!
No! I lost all the weight I need to last week!
Finished dieting?
Then how come you still have all this fat?
I've lost weight
I've already crapped
I'll die if I go on dieting
Fine! I'll just blow your head off then!
Even if you shot me I won't eat food from Cha's!
Their food is terrible!
Why is that?
Everything they make is too salty or too bland
And the last time I was there, I saw...
...the cook scratch himself here and there and...
He didn't wash his hands before chopping up a chicken!
Where exactly did he scratch?
You're a hostage, what does it matter whether the food is good or bad?
You cannot say this
New Year's eve…
...to be held hostage is bad enough
…without being forced to eat food from Cha's!
Think about why you're putting your life at stake?!
So that you don't have to eat at a place like Cha's all the time!
I think this Office Lady is making a lot of sense
How did you learn to think like this?
Something I learnt it when I was little
How little?
When I studied at the Springfield Blossom Kindergarten
Springfield Blossom?
Is it the one above the "Chung Kiu" department store?
...across the "Lucky" Seafood Restaurant?
The Springfield Blossom Kindergarten ?
That's right!
It featured high calibre faculty including a Caucasian Poutonhua teacher!
A Caucasian teacher of Puttonhuar?
Yes, and I remember the Caucasian teacher had very hairy legs
Springfield Blossom...
...there the old foreigner taught Puotonghua
Old foreigner had very hairy legs…
We are wholesome happy children
We sing together everyday
We're learning more
We're growing fast
We're the blossoms of the spring!
We are the future leaders...
...the pillars of society
Principal! How are you ?
Teacher are you well?
We greet you everyday!
"We are the leaders of the future"
Everyone!
Our school has been established for almost 50 years
...not yet 50 years...
...but close to 50 years
Soon, our school will be established for more than 50 years
In this almost, but not yet, 50 years time
Our school has fostered many pillars of society
Soon, our school will foster even more pillars of society
Maybe you'll ask...
Mr. Principal,in the last 50 years…
…fostered so many pillars of society
In actual fact, what use is there?
Well, I'd like to make it clear to you now...
...that our establishment...
...has not quite reached the 50 years mark
As for whether or not our school will have the opportunity...
...to celebrate our 50th anniversary...
...and to foster even more pillars for our society
It depends on whether or not we can collect...
...the tuition fee from everyone of you this month
Thank you everyone
Mr. Principal, how do we celebrate this 50th anniversary thing?
I'm going to invite my pals over
Go to the rooftop and have a...
Hot... Pot... Party!
"Scene passes the store sign of the "Chung Kiu" Department store"
Today, we are going to learn about becoming pillars of society
...and the leaders of the future
Let's start with the "pillars"
Doctor
I will be a doctor
lawyer
I will be a lawyer
Chief Executive Officer
I will be a Chief Executive Officer
Fei, what kind of a "pillar" do you want to be?
I want to help "Cappuccino" poo...ooo...pooop
...boop out the bubbles
Cappuccino... boop-boop-boop-booper
….. blow bubbles man
a Cappuccino-boop-boop-boop-booper
I will be…..
a Cappuccino-boop-boop-boop-booper
Very good!
I want to use lipo suction machine
help suck people's fat
I want to pull the bones
from the chicken claws
so people can make Thai style chicken claws
Chicken Claw-cut…cut..cut….cut
I will be a Chicken Claw cut….cut….
Very good!
Listen, we'll have a party tomorrow and the theme is "Pillars of Society"
Think of what kind of pillar you like to be
then wear the matching costume
Is that clear?
Yes!
Good! Let's practise once more
Lawyer
I want to be a lawyer
Say, May, in order to play one of those "pillars"...
...do I need to wear pants?
Of course you do
Have you ever seen a "pillar" without pants?
Oh...no... all I have is a pair of swimming trunks
Play a lifeguard then
A lifeguard can be a "pillar" as well
You think so?
But I'm afraid of drowning
Say, May, what if a "pillar" gets a call of the nature...
Will he take off his pants?
Of course he will
Good to hear that
I can simply play a "pillar" who needs to crap
All you need to play is a "pillar"
Leave the crap out!
I am only asking
But if a "pillar" really needs to crap...
Does it make him less of a "pillar"?
I suppose not
Good to hear that
What if a "pillar" eats too much
he yawns, farts……
can he be a pillar of society ?
can be
if that pillar of society goes blank
blind, shakes all over, rashes on his legs
can he be a pillar of society ?
Why you ask so many questions?
I am afraid that I may not grow into a pillar of society
afraid of what?
you study well
you wil definitely become one
study well, will I not have runny bowels?
OK, let us be future leaders
good
good for you
Are you here for to apply for a post to de-bone chicken claws?
Yes!
How many chicken claws can you de-bone every minute?
Show me one Good
Good! You're hired!
Yeah!
Show me how you blow bubbles
You're hired
Yeah!
You've just graduated, haven't you?
Yes, but how did you know?
Just a wild guess
Amazing! You hit the nail on the head!
Actually we are looking for a BBQ Chopper
Very few women are in this line of work
Let me show you something...
Examples of my graduate work!
Um... Winsey...
Winsey, Winsey?
Can you chop a chicken for me please?
Chopping chicken is easy? How about filling rice instead...
I feel rice filling is more important.
We have a rice filler already, we need a chicken chopper
Then..give me a chicken chopping instruction manual
I follow the diagrams to chop
Instruction manual? We don't have this.
You have not…..
OK.. You haven't, I have
What now?
Did you study chopping chicken when you were in your 2nd year?
It was so long ago, I don't think I can remember
I am not asking if you could remember
Have you notes on how to chop a chicken?
Email the files to me right away!
I'll try
McDull, what type of profession are you supposed to be?
OL
Pardon? OL
OL stands for Office Lady!
I did my research
An OL doesn't need to wear pants to work
Go get spayed if you really want to become an OL
Do I have to?!
Sure you do!
Can I still get married once I get spayed?
I don't think so... So you wat to marry, huh?
Oh yes! They serve shark's fin soup at the wedding banquet
If you want shark's fin soup...
...try to become a doctor, a lawyer...
...or a businessman
They have shark's fin soup for every meal!
Sharks' fin daily? Wouldn't it be too heavy for their digestion?
Heh! Scare of indigestion, eat abalone, or hot pot
Hot-pot... hmm...
Yummy!
To be a doctor, lawyer
Say, do I need to get spayed
Doctors and lawyers are the ones who spay (=skin/fleece) people!
Hoorray!
"We want hot pot everyday."
How many guests? Two thousand or so
Please wait a moment
How long will that be?
Soon! There are tables freeing up
Two thousand or so...
Yellowfin….
Yellowfin... fin... fin...
Sea star yellow fin head….
I can't speak very well
Guys…speak intimately..
I need to see some dedication here!
More..dedicated…
When eating, lighting is very important
shouldn't be too bright, shouldn't be too dim
when accompanied by two beauties, feel fabulous when eating
boil raw…
fish head………….
stomach…..
No one wants to hear us
Waitress !
Coming
Let me confirm your order
Cool!
Waitress !
My beauty, best hot pot needs to be bigger
Take a look at the beautiful liver!
With a drop of soya sauce...wow!
You just can't beat this taste!
Tasty!
Come, come, come...
This intestine is extremely elastic on the teeth
Most important is a dab of soya sauce...
Can't eat this anywhere else
Fabulous...
C'mon, c'mon...
Exquisite..
Look….
This beautiful pineapple, you can't eat this elsewhere
Most important is a dab of soya sauce...
Fab, fab, fab... c'mon...
Really tasty..
A dab of soya sauce... Can't get this anywhere else
There is a bee here!
Intestine tastes even better when it's raw
Cool! A dab of soya sauce first !
Brother To, what else do you need?
I know, let me repeat after you
It won't take long...
Get the check for table 1 0
They've settled their bill?
The table for two thousand is ready
Great!
What are we looking at?
What else?
Chicken testes, beef tripe, intestines and hand-beat shrimp balls
Wind pipe is stuffed with liver
How would you handle this patient?
Poach it with chives or stir-fry with shallot
I was asking about the fellow!
Shuffle the endoscope through the oesophagus and into the windpipe
Then cut the chunk of liver into smaller pieces
Then what?
lnject him with 50cc phenyl-mercuric nitrate
I asked about the liver!
Oh... Stew liver congee?
Jolly good!
What about the intestines?
May, do you still like to eat hot pot?
You think you get eat what you want?
Beautiful you
I think... Office Lady work suits me best after all
I don't need to wear stuffy pants and... ...I don't need to fight with others
All I need is a rice dish for lunch
Rice with barbecued meat, perhaps with a salty egg too
I'll keep things simple and practical
After work, eat again
Shopping around, get a bag bag
Stuff things inside it, just right
What kind of a bag?
Don't know.
But every Office Lady has a bag
They are always swinging their bags as they walk
And there goes another carefree day
Very much like the song Miss Chan taught us before
When have we ever learnt such a song?
Remember? That song...
Di di dap dap in my heart
Grab your bag, off to work, to get your pay
Rushing through to the end of the day
Grab your bag, hurry up, make way like the wind
Swing, swing, swing your bag, swing and sashay
Swing, swing your bag, come what may
You are free from work, free from the fray
Swing by my skirt like the wind
mi mi mon mon…to five o'clock
Bags stacked on bags in one great array
Volia voila the lifts connect
at five I feel free
Swing your bag with mine and feel the sway
Swing to the left and then to the right
Ah…..the stores are on sale
Stuffing bags with goods,
Swing even happier
This trick again
The Financial Controller gets the Marketing Head's by his head again!
Looks like the Marketing Head is at the end of his tether
The Marketing Head might be the most convincing salesman
But the accountants can always do him in with the books
It's always the cash flow that dictates our destiny
It's not that simple - there must be something dubious
They wouldn't be banging their heads together constantly
Marketing Head is up to something...
He is striking back
He is gathering all his men for a final showdown against the Accounting Department
yes…
No good, no matter how many recruits
Once on challenge no one dares to move
Good, this trick again
This clamping fight is quite good
Will there be problem clamping like this?
Problem? At worst water gets in the brain
Marketing Head's brain has water?
How long is this battle going to last?
Hard to say...
The former Marketing Head, his first day at work
…his head was clamped from start to end
What happened in the afternoon?
They threw him a farewell buffet party
That's funny
That's life
The Financial Controller legs seem looser
The Financial Controller rises slowly
He is calling it a day
It's already 7 o'clock! Why are you still here?
I'm leaving soon
For a date?
Can't tell... but I'm leaving too...
...after going to the washroom
Sure
Today
while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I'll taste your strawberries
I'll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today
Have you been waiting long? - Not at all
Thank you for supporting country music!...
Do you come here often?
Oh... not really...
But they have live music here... it's kind of neat
True... it's kind of neat
Hot coffee!
Say, how do you like your job?
Don't be bothered by your co-workers' bad temper
They are actually quite easy-going
That Financial Controller guy... Does he clamp down on the others all the time?
Oh, that doesn't concern small fry like me
You call yourself small fry?
You're not low grade?
You are executive grade
Manage whatever…?
Professional Repair that's me…
How many jobs have you gone through ever since you graduated?
Three... or four
That's impressive!
Why is that?
Oh...
Don't know
Two of you, please look
Every one sings folk songs
yes
Bob Dylan
Our Folk Song Set Menus are famous
What is this "Bob Dylan" beef rice ?
This is stirred fried beef with fried egg
"Bob Dylan"add another big egg
beat an egg in there?
John Denver
Or you wanna try our "John Denver" Country Set Dinner?
Who's this John Denver?
He's known for his big mouth
This one? He does have a big mouth...
There is green vegetables, steamed salt fish minced pork
And add more rice
What about John Denver?
John Denver is dead!
Dead?
He's as dead, that is why he changed to steamed salty fish with minced pork rice
I want this "Bob Dylan" beef rice
What about you, ma'am?
I'd like a "John Denver" Set, please
Thank you for supporting country music!
Bob Dylan!
Blob Dylan...
Go ahead and eat, don't wait for me
I'd rather wait
Don't wait, "Bob Dylan" cools off fast
You eat first
Well then... pardon me
How... is... your... poo?
Pardon me?
Stick... your... tongue... out
Wh….at!
What... have... you... been... eating?
Nothing special... some John Denver Country Set
What... John... Denver?
Some folk singer...
But he's dead
Hal...le...lu...jah
Dead? Then how's your poo?
Nor...normal
Ah, Stick your tongue out!
How... you... feel...ing?
Noth...ing special
Only... feeling kind of drowsy...
...kind of sloppy on every task
So... what... have... you... been... eating?
John Denver Country Set Dinner
Hal...le...lu...jah
So how is your poo?
Normal
Good morning...
Fellows colleagues, this morning I return…
I took the time to "think"
I was thinking about what I think should be under discussion today?
Today's meeting is very important to us
And so I kept on "thinking" as I was walking
When it suddenly hit me that...
Thinking should be the topic of today's discussion!
Everyone has a point to make
Some people have a point here, focal point…
because some don't have a focal point
A person without focal point will float
They are pointless, do you understand?
Once weak, it is no good
Do things on firm ground, firm point
We are constantly under the influence of many existing points
Such as this point...
And that point - some points are beside the point
There is a point, and there too
Sometime two points co-exist
Sometimes, the points are down below
These points are heavy and they sink to the bottom,
that's why sometimes we don't get these point
We have to dig for these points, bring them
to the surface so that we can see the point
The heavy point is the main point
What happens when you lose your main point?
You're pointless and floating
That's why we have to focus on discussing...
...what this point really is
"Main Point"
"Main Point"Main Point
O! O!
I!
T!
How do you read?
"Main Point"Main Point
T..."TNIOP"!
This is the"POINT"
"TNIOP"!
How to read"POINT"?!
"POINT"should be read from here!
Point starts from here! This way is "Tniop"
How could you mix them up?
You must get the point!
Or you'll remain "pointless"...
And allow others to tell you what to do and bury you with work
Look at my hands
Quick, like this, hand out
Quick! Like this... c'mon... Catch it...Catch...
Hey, you!
Catch... catch... that's right! Catch the "point"!
Okay, relax...
Catch!
You're too slow!
You're slow because your "point" isn't sharp!
Look at me, you've got to make immediate response
Relax...
"POINT"!
That's right! That's how you get to the "Point"!
That is the point!
You have to get to the point!
You've got to have a point when you work!
You can't function without a point!
A point can affect many aspects of your life!
Take me for an example: I live in "North Point"!
When you live at this Point, you get to the office quickly!
Every thing is about "point"
We have to join hands -- to become one! But how?
First, "melt" yourself down...
Let me ask you a question...
Do you have a Smart Card? Do you? And you?...
You can't show me yours because you just don't have one!
Yet Smart Card is the perfect example of "Added Value"!
What do we do with a Smart Card?
DO...
"DO"! "DO"! ...
Together, DO...
DO... louder!
See? You don't dare to DO;
you just don't dare to DO your task!
Smart Cards are open and direct... DO! Like this!
Like this...
DO
DO like a smart card
This is the attitude you should adopt when you DO your work
Just like me, "DO" !
DO ! DO ! . .right?.
We can "DO , DO", right?
We can also DO together!
We DO work for each other! Understand?
Try to "DO"! You "DO" one time!
You go DO! Don't DO me! DO her!
DO! One more time!
"DO"!
DO! That's a "hard" DO
Never "hard" DO but "soft" DO
let's think of a place to go for lunch
Restaurant again?
Not again! I'm doing keep fit
Restaurant is too fattening for me
They serve similar food daily
How about Cha's takeaway? It's nearby
Even if you beat me I wouldn't go to Cha's
Their food is greasy and hard to eat
How about that new place with the Steamed Buns on a Conveyer Belt?
It sounds kind of interesting
Are you sure? All they serve are steamed buns that go round and round
If buns are not tasty, we can watch them go stale!
This is it! Go inside and check it out
But the meeting is still on
Just go! I'll cover for you! Go!
You said just now about the "Main Point"
I'm not sure I got your point, can you make your point again?
Soya chicken and BBQ pork, add salty egg, on rice to go!
You want some free soup?
No, thanks
It comes free
What's the free soup of the day?
Watercress soup simmered with almonds, stewed with duck's kidney and pork
Okay, I'll have the free soup
"Sometime, we want to run to outside"
Hi kids, what's your order?
BBQ pork noodles
BBQ pork? We're out of BBQ pork
Crispy pork and roast goose noodles
We're out of roast goose
BBQ pork and soya chicken noodles
We're out of BBQ pork
Crispy pork and roast goose noodles
We're out of crispy pork
Then….BBQ pork and soya chicken noodles
We're out of BBQ pork
Um... chicken and roast goose noodles
Out of roast goose
Well then...BBQ pork and roast goose noodles
He said that he run out of BBQ pork and roast goose
Meaning, any combos involving these two items are simply unavailable!
I see... those combos are unavailable
Give me soya chicken noodles then
We're out of noodles
BBQ pork rice then
They said no BBQ pork! How about BBQ pork and roast goose noodles !
Run out of roast goose! BBQ noodles then!
Told you, no BBQ Pork!
Soya chicken noodles then!
Winsey, you are a graduate
come help these children out!
What is it? You have a bad day?
Of course!
I can say I am a First Grade Roast Meat Chef graduated with honours
But I have to chop chicken, not good enough to fill rice !
So you really love BBQ...
Just follow me
Wow... all these little creatures!
When I was your age
When I saw all these lovely creatures
I was as excited as you are now
A day passed by.. and another another day
Everyday it is roast meat, BBQ meat…
Go to work it is BBQ meat, after work it is BBQ meat
Open or shut my mouth it's BBQ meat
BBQ meat is what it is
If you are not BBQ flesh, you wouldn't think BBQ meat!
Sometimes I think, if I do vegetarian
facing vermicelli, taro, dried tofu
I should be happier
Why don't you cook vegetarian BBQ meats?
Vegetarian BBQ?
You're trained in BBQ meat but in your heart you want to cook vegetarian
Combine the two and you get veggie BBQ meat
Can we make vegetarian food taste like BBQ meat?
Of course we can!
Really? But isn't it kind of late for me to change to veggie BBQ?
Don't delay! Let's make some right away!
Veggie - B B Q meat
smells like meat
Veggie - B B Q meat
But is it as good as meat?
It's sure to be meat
but it is vegetarian
It looks like duck meat
But is gluten and wheat
It tastes like chicken
But it's tofu stick
You swear it's pig's trotter
But it is only…..
Veggie - B B Q meat
love to eat it from childhood
Veggie - B B Q meat
Great to eat during offerings to our ancestors
It's sure to be meat
But it is veggan
It is sure to be duck
It is sure to be five spice chicken
It tastes like meat ( Veggie - B B Q meat )
But it is vegan ( my favourite as a child )
It tastes like duck but it is gluten.
Veggie - B B Q meat
Great to eat during offerings to our ancestors
Veggie - B B Q meat
Can it tastes so good?
Veggie - B B Q meat
as good as meat?
But it is only…..
Veggie - B B Q meat
You came in late this morning
You slept in?
I went to a job interview - don't tell anyone though
You're not happy in our company?
No... I happened to notice that a PR firm is hiring
I just wanted to see what it was like
So you want to become a publicist?
It seems kind of neat;
coordinating advertising, exhibition and so on...
...far less boring than clerical work
They'd love to hire a publicist as pretty as you
So when are you leaving?
They never say they'd hire me
They will, they'd love to hire a publicist as pretty as you
Look! They are having a sale!
I've been wanting to buy a digital piano
Can you play?
No, that's why I need to buy one
I took a few lessons a while ago
But the finge exercises were really boring
I think I'll take it more seriously if I can practise at home
Let's buy one then
But I don't even know what to buy
You don't need to learn how to shop!
I know nothing about the various models and the price range
Leave it to me, I'm a marketing executive!
Hello…please look around
There's a discount on anything you like and even on anything you don't like
We'll simply give you a discount you can't resist
Is this a digital piano?
Yes! Does it need to be plugged in?
It can be unplugged, but it won't make any sound
Does it needs 220 volts?
It will do with 110 volts, just add a transformer
That's true...all I need is a transformer
Is a digital piano as good as a real one?
It's even better!
Cheaper, easy to maintain and take up less space
Are you a beginner? It's perfect for you
I've played piano for quite some time
What if...it gets dirty here?
It's simple
Get a bottle of cleaner and spray a little on
Wipe and look, as good as new!
You're right! It's easy to maintain!
Can I put things on top of it?
What kind of things?
I don't know
Magazines, coffee pot...
Perhaps a rice-cooker too! That will save me space
You see
Sure, no problem, you can even sleep on it...
...but maybe not the two of you together
In general
You can put a stereo system, rice cooker on it
But you have to be very careful
never let soup boil-over onto it
The piano is electric after all
How many bowls of rice does your cooker cook?
How many bowls of rice does you cooker cook?
About 4 or 5 bowls
4 or 5 bowls… ?
Two and a half cups of rice, put hand on the top of the rice
Just cover the back of your hand with water, I guarantee the rice cooker won't boil over!
Let me show you
Put your bowls here...
Your rice cooker on the side
Whilst playing piano, monitor the rice cooker
You don't even need to get a metronome!
That makes sense
When water is absorbed, throw two sausages in there
When sausages are steaming, even Chopin cannot stand steady
When brand of sauages is recommended?
Maxim brand… made locally
Or get "Kee-Wah"... they're unique!
Kee-Wah...
They don't contain any extra rubbish fillers
Kee-Wah...
They don't contain any dubious ingredients
Therefore…
That's why you are always in my heart
There isn't one other brand can be your match
Kee-Wah's sausage is simply world's best
Bravo!
Are they free?
Free what?
The sausages! Free with the piano?
Well, let me talk to our manager first
C'mon, you can handle a little extra request like this
I'll be back in just one moment!
He's off to talk to the manager
Yellow Bird
up high in banana tree
Yellow Bird
you sit all alone like me
Did your lady friend
..leave your nest again
That is very sad,
makes me feel so bad
You can fly away
To the sky away
You are luckily than me
McDull
Are you still committed to becoming an Office Lady?
My mom won't let me
She said I have to carry on our blood-line
So what are you going to be?
A lifeguard then... at least I have my swimming trunks
Aren't you afraid of drowning?
It turns out that a lifeguard is rarely required to perform rescues
His major task is to remain in his seat
Aren't you afraid you'll be bored?
What do you mean?
Looking dazed with a vacant head and mind
I am not afraid
If I'm really bored, I can buy and eat snacks
All you can think about is food!
What do you do when you finish eating?
Crap?
Stupid! I mean things give life meaning...
...the essence of life!
Oh...essence
Once, mom took me to "Kentucky Fried Chicken"
When the box opend, you know me..
I grabbed a piece of chicken without putting the gloves on
Mom gave me a lecture and said...
You smelly kid, did wash your hand and grab the chicken
Very soon you'll be itchy all over
Finish your scratching before getting the chicken
Ok, needed a pee before finish eating
And you'll handle your "essence"...
...with the very same hands that handle your chicken
The next day you'll be sorry and say...
Mom, my "essence" broke out in a rash!'
It serves you right for not washing your hands
after handling chicken before touching your "essence"!
When I apply a salve for the rash on you, you'll weep and say...
Oh it burns! My "essence" burns!'
And I won't have any sympathy for the pain of your essence
I'm afraid what you've been talking about...
...is not the essence
It's not?... But that's all I've got!
"But (may be) we don't waste our days"
Welcome to this week's episode of "Healthy Men & Women"
By my side are: Vice Chair of the Hong Kong Nutrition Society…
Dr. Fung, and Chinese Medicine Dr. Ha
Today's topic is the upsurge of the phenomenon known as "Pellets"
Dr Fung, many of us assume that only small children suffer from pooing pellets
Is that the case?
Pellet sufferers are not exclusively small children
It's possible for any person at any age
to suffer from crapping pellets
What do people eat what kind of food..?
...under what circumstances, do crap pellets?
It's possible for anyone to crap pellets anytime
especially those who eat anything
then it's sure to happen
Is there a complete cure to this problem?
There is no such thing as a guaranteed cure
don't over do it..don't let that happen
don't let what happen?
Oh? What did I say?
Good, we have invited today
A frequent sufferer of pellets
to our programme, to share with us
his personal experience of crapping pellets
Welcome !
How is your poo?
I want to know, when ….
discovered I am crapping pellets?
What… what pellets?
Right… kind of broken, wet type
My crap is not like that
No?
So you have friends and relatives who suffer from crapping pellets?
Not that I know of
Then why are you here?
My brain has crashed
How... is... your... poo?
Brain's bad, we adjoin till next episode
You have bad memories
Probably...you see, I have a Brain Crash
Nevenmind,we can talk about Brain Crash today...
We can share the question of crapping pellets next week
Right, so please tell us,
what is it like to have a Brain Crash?
My brain...
...seems to make things blurry all the time
Is this what we often say….
Senile dementia
No, not me
My thinking and action have no problem
It's my memory... say, whatever happened 5 mins ago...
can forget everything
Is it really that bad?
Do you remember how you got here then?
No, I don't
Do you remember your way home?
It's true, I don't
Doc, sounds like we have a real problem here
Does someone often apply high pressure to you
by clamping your head between his thighs?
I don't remember...
I find this very curious
Very strange, you have no memory…
How can you get by your daily business?
Same as before.
Wake up, get dresses, go to work
How do you get to work?
I take the subway
But you don't remember your stop!
I don't know, I just roughly guess...
...and gets off when most people do
Where do you go next?
Um... don't know
Most companies are located in commercial buildings
I follow people into one of the elevators, then push a button
to which company.. What do you do?
Um... don't know
I just find any entrance
enter, no one says anything
find a seat, then start work
You know what to do?
No need to know, just ask someone
But, no one knows what to do anyway…
just casually make some phone calls, chat a lot
And then it's lunch time
So you do remember "lunch"
No need to remember, stomach rumbles
How do you crap?
Yes! No need to remember that either
Afterward, I just follow the crowd to work
And after work?
Get a drink somewhere then go home
How do you know the way home?
I don't
I don't... but then again most apartment blocks are named something "Court" or "Garden"
I just key in certain entry code..do,do, do…do
If the door opens, I get in
But it might be someone else's house
Someone else's home?
Every home is mortgaged with a bank
Once through, if the dog does not bite, then it's my home
And then I'll take a shower, have some food...
…after eating watch some TV
then go to bed...with my wife
How do you know that she is your wife?
Before we go to bed, I ask her...
"Honey, are you sure you're not someone else's wife?"
Guess how she replies?
How?
She says:" My dear..
You are the only one I love
If I have to choose 10,000 times
10,000 times.. I choose you everytime
Strolling along I get hungry
I decide to get some beef noodles soup
The cook smiles as he brings one bowl to me
He says he remembers me as a school mate
Strolling along my feet get sore
I decide to get foot massage
The masseur keeps staring at my face
He says he remembers me as a school mate
That year the countryside blossoms spring flowers
We went to school together
I'm a sea captain
I sail, probably the world's shortest route
My boat starts from Aberdeen Typhoon Shelter..
...to the "Jumbo" floating restaurant...
...and then from the floating restaurant to the other side of the Typhoon Shelter
My ship goes round and round all day...
ferry both embankments's tourists
Each trip actually lasts less than 5 minutes
Apparently, not every passenger…
wants to go to the "Jumbo" floating restaurant
Most of them live nearby
They come aboard for the free ride
There are shoppers, students, ...
...delivery men and swimmers...
Officially, this boat is for transferring tourists
But then again…in this world
No one who is not a tourist?
This wisdom, I learnt from kindergarten
Now, I understand it even more
That's why, for all the passengers
I never refuse to ferry them to their destination
Captain! I must report that our ship is sinking
What are you saying?
We are in the typhoon shelter, sea is calm outside
I see palm trees, fine sand, clear water, it's sunny and breezy
How can our ship possibly be sinking?
Just listen, I was in the middle of a nap...
...when it suddenly hit me
Five minutes later, our ship...
...really sunk!
We drifted to a desert island
But this is Hong Kong...
…there is no deserted island!
Our mobile phones were all damaged by water
And so, we could only wait patiently
We waited and waited...
And waited for someone to come rescue us
A day passed, then two days, then three...
In the end, we waited a week...
...with no signs of a rescue
We've tried to find food on the island
But there is no vegetation here
Even sparrrows do not "drop" by
Only garbage washed ashore
I know what they're all thinking
Old sailors are used to hearing these stories
But as the captain of this vessel
I am responsible for the safety of each one of my passengers...
...regardless of how insigificant my ferry is
And so, I have come to the following painful decision...
Everyone, I am your sea captain
I have an announcement to make
After careful consideration, I've decided to..
...cut off one of my buttocks for you all to eat
Really!
For he's a jolly good fellow
That nobody can deny
"Round and round we gather together"
Cha's takeaway delivery!
Did someone here order takeaway?
Take-out delivery!
Black pepper steak on rice! Raise your hand!
Here!
Chicken and roast goose on rice! Raise your hand!
Braised pork with pickle veg, raise your hand!
Pork chop on rice! Raise your hand!
Pork chop...
Who ordered pork chop?! Raise your hand!
Sir, what do we do now?
Stay calm, wait for my order!
Listen everyone, take action when I take off my hat,
Take action as soon as my hat is off...
Got that?
Captain! Minced beef on rice is fabulous!
You want to eat? If we're eating I eat first!
After you
I've almost forgot
A gift for you
Even Chopin cannot stand steady…
Hey, at least let me feed my mouth
For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a Jolly good fellow
That nobody can deny
I've never expected that...
sliced bum is so painful
I kept telling myself that this piece of flesh…
...after all, came from what I'd eaten
Officially speaking, this piece of flesh..
...does not belong to me
Even though I had this thought in my mind...
When Winsey pushed the blade into my butt...
that pain, really painful…my heart…
But as a sea captain, I have my responsibilities
Citizen, international friends, brothers…
All children,enjoy your food
Not enough, I have more
Great!
Make a wish
We are wholesome happy children
We sing everyday
It's Chinese New Year Eve tonight...
also Springfield Blossom Kindergarten Anniversary Celebration
Mr. Principal has invited all of us alumni to...
and ex-pupils, pillars of society….
future leaders to a hot pot party
I don't know if the venue is fab
I'd love to go
But with the way things turned out, I don't think I can make it
No matter how things turn out,
we will still be able to sit eating together
feeling very interesting
We feel we are amongst friends, class mates
...sitting around a table for Hot Pot
We're still learning, we're still failing
Greeting people daily
The only difference is that we're not in kindergarten
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
And if someday you join us
The world will be filled with blossoms in the countryside
I must have heard this before...
In the kindergarten...or karaoke?
We are the wholesome happy children
We sing together everyday
We're learning more
We're growing fast
We're the blossoms of the spring!
We are the future leaders...
...the pillars of society
How are you, Principal!
How are you, Teacher?
We'll greet you everyday!
We are the future leaders...
...the pillars of society
How are you, Principal!
How are you, Teacher?
We'll greet you everyday!
Surplusletterbox, 28th May 2006, London